Just the Thought of You
by Myx Nyx
Summary: An awkward moment in the locker room leads to a world of possibilities...


15/11/2008 21:41:00

**Disclaimer: Not mine, tragically.**

**A/N: Now, now, don't get testy. I know I should be working on Journey of a Lifetime, and I am. But this just sort of occurred to me one day and I haven't been able to stop writing it. Don't worry. A journey update is not far off. In the mean time, I hope you like this!**

**Oh, and I'd like to dedicate this fic to Miss Maggsie, because of her sheer wonderfulness! Thanks for the help of on this one, babe. You're amazing. ;)**

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"I get down on my knees, I'd do anything for you…" Sara's ass swayed slightly side to side as she moved around the locker-room. It was laundry day which meant gathering all the changes of clothes from the previous week and throwing them into her gym bag. Plugged into her new iPod- a birthday gift from the boys, she danced and sang in a carefree way, oblivious to the fact that she might have an audience. She had closed her case, it was her night off, and as soon as her laundry was done, she was going to fall straight into bed. Life was good.

Catherine Willows leaned in the doorway from the showers, one hand clutching the front of her body towel closed, and the other making sure that her towel turban didn't unbalance. She was smirking. How cute was that? Sara Sidle, singing and _dancing_ in the locker-room. If only her camera phone weren't in her jeans pocket on the bench across the room.

"I don't want anybody else…" Sara nodded her head to the beat and raised her voice the slightest bit. "When I think about you I touch myself!" She attempted to twist around, but an ill directed waving arm disconnected the headphones cord from her iPod, successfully stopping the music.

"Damn it." Sara struggled to recapture the dangling cord.

Catherine couldn't stifle a soft chuckle.

Sara straightened and spun about quickly, almost over balancing, she put a hand on the lockers to her right. "Catherine!" At first, Sara was simply startled and bordering on embarrassed. Until she took in the older woman's attire. And she _really_ took it in. Her eyes did start out by connecting with the amused ones across from her, but they didn't stay there for long._ Oh, my God._

Almost of their own accord her eyes slid away from Catherine's and began to slowly make their way southward. Delicate nose, soft lips- things she had seen and coveted before. But that neck, enhanced by the beads of moisture that clung there and cascaded out to fleck her shoulders. Her chest. Flushed rose from the heat of the shower, it was a picture painted in more detail than she'd ever seen before. And of course there was the undulating swell of her breasts beneath the burgundy material, the subtle curve of her waist, and the gradual flare of her hips. The towel only just brushed the middle of Catherine's thighs, displaying perfect, creamy skin disrupted only by rivulets of water like a rainstorm on a windowpane. Completing the vision were bare feet, perfectly manicured toes, toenails painted a deep blood red.

Sara resisted the urge to sigh wantonly. What was the point? Was there ever a point to longing for the impossible? It only brought heartache.

Catherine had watched the other woman's blatant and appreciative survey of her sparsely clad body, and the fluttering in her stomach told her she was beginning to respond. _What's this?_ Sara? Like hell. And yet…she'd never misread an expression of lust in her life. And her highly developed sixth sense told her that the woman in front of her wanted her. Bad.

She thought about it. Sara? In her bed? In her arms? The idea wasn't entirely new to her, but she had never thought…Sara? In her bed certainly. In her arms, even better. But the images she was trying to suppress were not ones of lust. Holding hands on the street. Squeezing in together on the sofa. Breakfast in bed on Sundays.

Sara?

Sara.

Catherine allowed the corner of her mouth twitch into a half smile. Yeah, that could be good. That could be really good. When she regained her composure she found Sara frowning at her, Catherine's, toes. She cleared her throat conspicuously and shifted her weight from one leg to the other. When she finally gained the other woman's attention, she arched a cocky brow.

Sara blushed at Catherine's expression and looked anywhere but at the redhead before her. She knew she'd been caught out. _Shit. _This was going to ruin everything. Their work dynamic, their tentative friendship; everything. Gone. And for what? A quick glimpse? Sara chastised herself. That had been a very, _very_ stupid thing to do. But it had been instinctive- she'd had no time to catch herself.

Catherine watched the other woman fidget nervously, facing a dilemma of her own. What would Sara do to her if she just closed the distance between them and captured those alluring lips with her own? Well, she was never one to shy away from an opportunity.

In a bold move, she decided there was only one way to find out. Screw the consequences- screw the risk. Gathering her courage, she removed her hair towel, dropping it on the closest bench and shaking her hair loose to brush and drip against her neck and shoulders. She took the few steps to where the brunette was standing, her arms hugging her chest.

Sara's heart beat faster as two bare feet came into view. When they crossed the line into her personal space, however, she took a step back, convinced that she was about to be told off. The feet followed her. Once more, she retreated, now feeling the icy steel of the lockers at her back. The feet followed again. This time she felt a gentle hand at her waist, but still she did not look up. She didn't dare.

"Sara…" Even Sara could not fail to hear that Catherine's voice was saturated, thick with emotion. The warm resonance of her intonation surprised Sara, and against her better judgment, she looked up. Any sound she might have made caught in her throat at what she saw in Catherine's eyes. Lust, for sure- there was no denying it, but there was also caring in those deep blue eyes, caring and need, and just a hint of uncertainty; the same uncertainty she was feeling herself. That made her relax the tiniest bit.

Catherine's eyes darted towards the other woman's sensuous mouth. "Sara…" she repeated, her voice a hoarse whisper.

Sara found herself in the same predicament, she didn't seem to be able to look away from Catherine's full, ripe lips. "Yes…?" she hissed, as the hand tightened at her waist.

A magnetic force drew her in; her eyes flickered shut as she felt Catherine rise up on her toes. She leaned forward. She could feel the other woman's hot breath on her chin and neck. Their noses brushed gently and it felt so amazing that Sara did it again, nuzzling softly at Catherine's cheek. Her body was on autopilot- and a good thing too, because the part of her brain that typically made her decisions could barely believe this was happening, and the part of her brain that usually controlled this area of her life didn't know which way was up…

"Hey, Rick! What's up?"

"Man! Did you catch Lakers/ Spurs this afternoon?"

"Taped it. It's waiting for me at home- don't tell me who wins."

"Lakers."

"Ah, come on, man. So not cool. Lakers? Really? How'd they do?"

Sara took a step back. It was time for everyone to clock out, and the voices of Nick and Warrick were getting closer. Catherine gave her a searching look. Sara nodded, whatever that meant. But it seemed to pacify the older woman, because she stepped away and toward her own locker. By the time boys turned the corner into the room she was already dressed in black jeans and a pink bra. As she raised an arm to put on deodorant, Warrick let a whistle out.

"Lookin' good today, Cath!" Sara bristled involuntarily and then frowned at her reaction. She had never been jealous over their flirting before- depressed by it, sure. But never jealous. Except that that had been before whatever had just happened had happened. Wait, what? She shook her head, feeling a headache coming on.

Catherine just rolled her eyes and smiled easily, "Thanks, Rick. Lost four pounds on that no carb diet." She pulled on a white t-shirt that was sheer enough to tell the color of her bra was more rose than salmon.

"Well you look fantastic."

Catherine smiled, a little tighter this time. "Better watch out. I could sue you for workplace harassment and Ecklie would make you go to that 'How to treat women in the workplace' seminar."

Warrick laughed. "What? Again?"

"Laundry day, Sara?"

But Sara was staring at Catherine, her thoughts drifting.

"Sara?"

"Hmm?"

"Laundry day?" Nick questioned her again nodding to her overflowing gym bag.

"What?" she asked distractedly. "Oh. Yeah. Sure. Laundry."

Nick frowned at her. "You okay, Sar?"

"Of course." How could Catherine act so calm when she felt like an entire herd of elephants was stampeding through her gut?

"Hey, I know. Let's grab Greg and all go out to breakfast?"

Nick's eyes lit up. "Yeah. Come on, ladies. It's been ages since our last team breakfast- weeks at least."

Sara looked back to Catherine who smiled and shrugged. "I'm game."  
The brunette's neck twitched and her brow furrowed. "You are?"

Catherine's smile grew. "Sure."

Sara could feel her chest tighten at that smile. But what did this woman mean by toying with her and then ducking out for breakfast?

Catherine slipped into her three inch heels, which would have put her about eye to eye with Sara if the brunette hadn't been wearing her chunky combat boots. She took three steps forward to run her hand from Sara's shoulder to her elbow, sending chills up both women's spines. She stared right into those deep brown eyes, still smiling. "Come on, Sara. It'll be fun. I promise." She quirked an eyebrow.

"Uh…" Sara felt as if she was in some sort of trance. She could not look away from the eyes of the woman in front of her.

"Yeah, Sara. It'll be fun. And we promise not to put chocolate syrup in your huevos rancheros when you go to the bathroom this time."

"Yeah. We've learned our lesson on that one."

"Yeah. Next time, we'll make Greg do it."

"Exactly." The boys seemed oblivious to the silent exchange passing between the two women.

Catherine was still smiling intently at Sara, and Sara, still staring straight back, was incredibly aware of the firm but gentle grip the other woman had on her elbow. "What do you say, Sara?" Catherine's voice was husky and captivating.

"Uhh…Breakfast. Yeah. Fun." She coughed and was finally able to look away from the penetrating gaze of the older woman.

"Cool. Nick and I will go get Greg and we'll-"

"No, I'll get him." Sara interrupted, heading towards the door. "I'll get him. We'll meet you there. I've got something to talk to him about anyway…case related." When she was a safe distance down the hall and around the corner, she paused, resting her forehead against the wall. Slowly, she banged her head against it once, twice, three times. What the _hell?_ What the hell was she doing, what the hell was she thinking, _what the hell_ was going on!? All she knew was that at the very least, she and Catherine had just expressed a very mutual, mutual attraction. Very mutual. And now she had to go fetch Greg and suffer through a team breakfast when all she wanted to do was go to her apartment and lay in her bed. Wide awake.

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"…so then the guy says, 'yeah, can you give me another one of those cavity searches?'" The entire table erupted with laughter. All except Sara. She was at the head of the table, with Greg on her right. Catherine was supposedly seated on her left, but she had gone outside to take a call when they had first arrived and had yet to return. That was ten minutes ago.

_She's probably afraid to face you._ Though that did not really sound like the cool, collected, fiery, passionate Catherine she knew, Sara had her doubts. She fidgeted with her napkin, only half listening to the testosterone-enhanced conversation going on around her. Only the warm breath on her neck gave her a second's warning of the presence at her back.

"Miss me bad, huh?"

Sara looked over her shoulder and was met with sparkling mirth-filled blue eyes. _Well, at least someone's having a good time. _She couldn't help but return the smile.

Catherine slid in beside Sara, once again running a hand down her arm. _What did that mean, exactly?_

"So," she turned toward the boys, "what'd I miss?"

Nick deflected her question. "Hey, what took you so long?"

"Yeah, who was on the phone?"

"Uh…" Catherine had to work hard not to send a glance in Sara's direction. Instead, she settled for running a hand casually through her hair. "That was my sister. She's, umm, she's taking Lindsey for the day…so I can sleep and…get some other stuff done."

"Oh." Seemingly pacified, the guys turned back to their conversation and Catherine resisted the urge to breathe a sigh of relief.

Sara, however was feeling anything but relief. Catherine had cleared her whole day? Given up her time with her daughter? For what? _Certainly not for me. _What was she expecting?

Because it became abundantly clear a minute later, that she was definitely expecting something. Sara jumped in her seat, banging the tabletop with her leg as she felt the warmth of a palm seep through her jeans and the delicate fingers of a woman's hand clutch at her knee. She covered her surprise with a lame attempt at a coughing fit, reaching for her water. Greg slapped her back rather hard. "You okay, Sara?"

She nodded, unable to speak.

Catherine feigned concern. "Yeah, Sar, what happened?" she asked innocently. "Air go down the wrong pipe or something?"

Sara gave her, her best covert glare. "Yeah…something." She moved her hand under the table with every intention of removing Catherine's from her knee; they were in public, for Christ's sake! But when her hand finally rested on the smaller one beneath it, she found she could go no further. Who was she kidding? If Catherine wanted to put a hand on her knee, then that's exactly what was going to happen. She would get no argument from Sara. With a resigned sigh, the brunette began to slowly stroke the other woman's hand with her thumb and was pleased when, a moment later, she felt her fingers intertwine with Catherine's smaller ones. _Well_, Sara thought, _whatever it was that they were doing here, at least Catherine was confident about it._

Sara's thoughts however, could not have been farther from the truth. Sure, on the outside, it was just another team breakfast for Catherine. But on the inside? Granted she wasn't verging on a nervous breakdown like Sara, but she could by no means be considered a calm and rational human being. _What am I doing? She's a co-worker. She's the same age as my baby sister! She…_ Catherine looked up as Sara nervously laughed at one of Greg's stupid jokes. She exhaled deeply. _She is completely wonderful._ She softly squeezed their joined hands before taking a look at the menu and deciding that what she wanted definitely wasn't there.

And so breakfast went. When the food arrived, the women were forced to drop hands, but Catherine maintained the intimate contact by curling her bare foot around Sara's ankle and dipping her toes into the top of her boot. Sara jumped again and this time covered it by pretending her phone had been vibrating in her back pocket. When the plates had been cleared and they were just waiting on the check, Catherine returned her hand to Sara's leg. Emboldened by Sara's reciprocity and seeming consent, however, she this time placed her hand higher; on Sara's thigh. Sara stiffened at first, but at least this time she managed not to jolt the table. Catherine gently scratched her nails back and forth over the jean-clad muscle and watched with fascination and pleasure as Sara shuddered visibly and then relaxed. A little.

Throughout the meal, they had constantly maintained some form of physical connection, and as the end rolled around, it was clear that neither woman knew what to expect. It was as if severing that connection would dissolve anything that was going on between them. As everyone stood to go, Catherine felt the loss of the other woman's touch acutely, and made a quick decision.

"Greg, can you handle taking the guys back to pick up their cars? It's just that Sara left her jacket at my house the last time she was there, and I want to get it to her."

_What?_ Sara thought. _I haven't been to her house since last year's Christmas party. _She lifted an eyebrow. _But…they don't know that._

Greg frowned. "Why not just bring it to the lab next shift?"

Catherine's eyes widened. She looked to Sara for helped. Sara met her eyes and their was a silent communication between them before she supplied an answer. "Don't we have that deposition coming up next week? I've got the presentations on my lap top. I think we could stand to go over them again."

"Absolutely. I mean, exactly." She turned to Greg, "We need to go over our deposition, so will you please take the guys back for me?"

Greg shrugged. "Sure, no problem."

Catherine's eyes connected with Sara in an intense stair. "You need to get your stuff out of Greg's Tahoe?"

Sara nodded silently.

"Meet me at my car?"

She nodded once more.

Catherine gave a small smile and followed the boys out the door.

Sara stood, struck as she processed what had just happened and more importantly, what was about to happen. She felt totally unprepared, and she did not like that feeling. It was looking more and more like she was just going to have to wing it. And that made her nervous. She needed a plan. What was the plan? The problem was, she had absolutely no clue how to proceed from here. She knew she would go to Greg's car, get her back pack and her gym bag, and then she would get into Catherine's car. But then what?

_Well, I'm not a complete idiot_, she thought, following the guys toward the Tahoe. She could look at all the evidence and decipher what it meant. But what the evidence told her and what her mind agreed to believe were two very different things. She shook her head. _No. No way was _that_ about to happen._ She was not about to have _sex_ with Catherine Willows. She couldn't. She _shouldn't._ But she would. She knew she would. If the opportunity arose, there was no way she could turn it down. She waved Warrick, Nick, and Greg a goodbye and she started across the parking lot.

Catherine smiled at her as she threw her stuff in the back and climbed on in. Then she pulled her sunglasses down and put the car in reverse. Sara pulled on her seatbelt as they drove out of the lot, her mind heavy with thoughts; she still did not have a plan.

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Both Sara and Catherine were quiet once they got on the road. Catherine fiddled with the radio for a minute but, not finding anything worth listening to, she shut it off with a sigh of frustration. After about five minutes of silence, Sara noticed that they were not anywhere near her apartment, in fact, they were just about to get on the freeway. The freeway was in the exact opposite direction of her apartment. _But_, she swallowed her realization, _you do have to take the freeway to get to-_

"We're, umm…we're going to your house?"

Catherine nodded, but she didn't speak or turn to look at Sara. Sara alternated looking at Catherine and looking out the window. _Oh. Okay._ The brunette rolled down the window, feeling the need for some air.

Another minute passed and Catherine decided to try the radio again. Something had to be on, had to cut the silence.

"…_and in this morning's gossip portion of the show; lesbian sex- the do's and don'ts of Hollywood!"_ Catherine quickly changed the station.

"…_So, could ya, would ya, ain't you gonna, if I asked you would wanna be my baby tonight?"_ Once again, Catherine raised her hand to turn the dial.

"_Get up, get on up, stay on the scene- like a sex machine."_ She grunted in frustration as we pulled off the freeway, and changed it again.

"_We really shouldn't be doing this, and we both know why…" _This time she didn't even put her hand down before switching.

"_Will you still love me tomorrow-" _

"_It's the first time together and I'm feeling kind of horny-"_

"_Let's get it on…let's get it-"_

"Goddammit!" Catherine muttered as she slammed the radio off. She looked at me as we stopped at an intersection. "What's a girl gotta do to get some decent jazz in this town?" After a second the corner of her mouth quirked upward in sardonic half-smile. Sara's lips spread into a smile and she let a small laugh escape. Catherine followed her lead and laughed out loud as she turned into a residential neighborhood. The tension in the vehicle eased somewhat.

Sara leaned forward and took control of the radio. In a few short seconds, the dial was expertly turned to the asked for station. She smiled once more at Catherine as one song ended and the announcer came on.

"And if you liked that one, you'll love this. It's Ella's rendition of a classic jazz favorite. Here she is."

As the music began, Sara felt a warmth grow in her stomach. She raised her hand to turn the station, but then let it fall. Instead, she just sat back and listened, letting her thoughts run to somewhere in the middle distance.

_I've got you under my skin._

_I've got you deep in the heart of me._

_So deep in my heart that you're really a part of me._

_I've got you under my skin._

_Id tried so not to give in._

_I said to myself: this affair never will go so well._

_But why should I try to resist when, baby, I know so well_

_I've got you under my skin? _

_I'd sacrifice anything come what might_

_For the sake of havin' you near_

_In spite of a warnin' voice that comes in the night_

_And repeats, repeats in my ear:_

_Don't you know, little fool, you never can win? _

_Use your mentality, wake up to reality._

_But each time that I do just the thought of you_

_Makes me stop before I begin_

_cause I've got you under my skin._

The car braked suddenly and, as the instrumental interlude began, Sara turned away from the window to find Catherine staring intently at her, a curious expression on her face.

"What?"

Catherine just shook her head, and then gave a soft smile at Sara's adorable puzzled frown. The playful smile only served to further confuse the brunette; she didn't know how to respond to the butterflies in her stomach. As the light turned green, Catherine hesitantly took Sara's hand, resting on the console, into her own.

_I would sacrifice anything come what might_

_For the sake of havin you near_

_In spite of the warning voice that comes in the night_

_And repeats - how it yells in my ear:_

_Don't you know, little fool, you never can win? _

_Why not use your mentality - step up, wake up to reality? _

_But each time I do just the thought of you_

_Makes me stop just before I begin_

_cause I've got you under my skin._

_Yes, I've got you under my skin._

Catherine ran her fingertips along the inside of Sara's wrist, releasing it as they pulled into the driveway. She waited until the song was over before turning the key in the ignition and opening her door. She had to grip the handle hard to hide a nervous tremble. Exiting the car, she opened the rear passenger door to get her purse and noticed that Sara was still sitting in her seat, staring off into space. Drawing a deep, steadying breath, she coughed lightly.

"Sara?"

The younger woman turned toward the sound of her name.

Catherine had put on her very best seductive smile, and it hit Sara in the gut, leaving her with the feeling of a sand castle imploding with one great wave.

"You coming?"

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**Well? Here's the deal. Sometime very soon, I am going to post a crazy awesome **_**intimate**_** scene between Cath and Sara. Now, you, my loyal readers, get to choose. Should this end here? Do you want to know what happens when they get in the house? Or do you want the M rating to go on a new and different fic? Either way, I want you to review and let me know. Whichever choice has the most votes wins! Go!**

**Oh, and don't ask me to write it into Journey- ain't gonna happen. But if you'd like me to sex up one of my other fics, I'll definitely take your vote into consideration! So hurry! Cast your vote!**

**Okay, I must give credit where credit is due, so here are all the songs I referenced in this chapter- in order in case anyone wants to looks them up.**

_**Be My Baby Tonight-**_** John Michael Montgomery (Country)**

_**I Feel Like A Sex Machine**_**- James Brown (R&B)**

_**We Really Shouldn't Be Doin' This-**_** George Strait (Country)**

_**Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow- **_**The Shirelles (Pop/R&B)**

_**Doin' It-**_** LL Cool J (Rap)**

**(my personal favorite- if you don't know it, you've led a very sheltered life) **_**Let's Get It On-**_** (the infamous, the fabulous, the amazing and unforgettable) Marvin Gaye**

_**I've Got You Under My Skin-**_** The Best Versions are Ella Fitzgerald and Frank Sinatra, if you go for Ella, get the version that's on the 'I Get A Kick Out Of You' album; it's much better. There is also the newer Michael Buble version, which is not bad…if I do say so myself. ;)**


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